The Unofficial Smiley Dictionary:
  -------------------------------
 :-o     Wow!
 :-c     Real unhappy
 :-|     Grim
 :-C     Just totally unbelieving
 := |    Baboon
 :-B     Drooling
 :-v     Speaking
 :-,     Smirk
 :-V     Shout
 :-||    Anger
 :-w     Speak with forked tongue
 :-)     Smiling
 :-r     Sticking tongue out
 :-(     Frowning
 :-*     Oops!
 '-)     Wink
 :-T     Keeping a straight face
 ;-)     Sardonic Incredulity
 :-D     Said with a smile
 %-<I>   Drunk with laughter
 :-x     Kiss kiss
 :-"     Pursing lips
 :-[     Pouting
 :-#     My lips are sealed
 :-X     A big wet kiss!
 :-P     Tongue hanging out in anticipation
 :-Y     A quiet aside
 8-|     Eyes wide with surprise
 >-<     Absolutely livid!!
 &-|     Tearful
 |-{     "Good Grief!"  (Charlie Brown?)
 :-}     "Thish wine tashted pretty good"
 8-]     "wow, maaan"
 8-O     "Omigod!!" (done after "rm -rf *" ?)
 :-,     "Hmmmm "
 |~(     "Someone just busted my nose"
 :^D     "Great! I like it!"
 B-D     "Serves you right, dummy!!"
 :-)      Your basic smiley, used to inflect a sarcastic or joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix
 ;-)      Winky smiley, user just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark, more of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smiley
 :-(      Frowning smiley, user did not like that last statement or is upset or depressed about something
 :-I      Indifferent smiley, better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as good as a happy smiley
 :->      User just made a really biting sarcastic remark, worse than a :-)
 >:->     User just made a really devilish remark
 >;->     Winky and devil combined, a very lewd remark was just made
 (-:      User is left handed
 %-)      User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
 :*)      User is drunk
 [:]      User is a robot
 8-)      User is wearing sunglasses
 B:-)     Sunglasses on head
 ::-)     User wears normal glasses
 B-)      User wears horn-rimmed glasses
 8:-)     User is a little girl
 :-)-8    User is a Big girl
 :-{)     User has a mustache
 :-{}     User wears lipstick
 {:-)     User wears a toupee
 }:-(     Toupee in an updraft
 :-[      User is a Vampire
 :-E      Bucktoothed vampire
 :-F      Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
 :-7      User just made a wry statement
 :-*      User just ate something sour
 ;-(      User is crying
 ;-)      User is so happy, s/he is crying
 :-@      User is screaming
 :-#      User wears braces
 :^)      User has a broken nose
 :<)      User is from an Ivy League School
 :-&      User is tongue tied
 +-:-)    User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
 `:-)     User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
 ,:-)     Same thing other side
 |-I      User is asleep
 |-O      User is yawning/snoring
 :-Q      User is a smoker
 :-?      User smokes a pipe
 O-)      Megaton Man On Patrol!  (or else, user is a scuba diver)
 O :-)    User is an angel (at heart, at least)
 :-P      Nyahhhh!
 :-S      User just made an incoherent statement
 :-D      User is laughing (at you!)
 :-X      User's lips are sealed
 :-C      User is really bummed
 :-/      User is skeptical
 C=:-)    User is a chef
 @=       User is pro-nuclear war
 *<:-)    User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat
 :-o      Uh oh!
 (8-o     It's Mr Bill!
 *:o)     And Bozo the Clown!
 3:]      Pet smiley
 3:[      Mean Pet smiley
 d8=      Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat
 E-:-)    User is a Ham radio operator
 :-9      User is licking his/her lips
 %-6      User is braindead
 [:-)     User is wearing a walkman
 (:I      User is an egghead
 <:-I     User is a dunce
 K:P      User is a little kid with a propeller beenie
 @:-)     User is wearing a turban
 :-0      No Yelling!  (Quiet Lab)
 :-:      Mutant Smiley
          The invisible smiley
 .-)      User only has one eye
 ,-)      Ditto   but he's winking
 X-(      User just died
 C=}>;*{O)    Mega-Smiley, a drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin
:]      Gleep   a friendly midget smiley who will gladly be your friend
 :)      Happy
 :>      hmm, let me think
 :D      Laughter
 :I      Hmmm, not funny!
 :(      Sad
 :[      Real Downer
 :<      what pretences!
 :{      oh boy, the headmaster!
 :O      Yelling
 ;(      Crying
 []      Hugs and
 :*      Kisses
  :-`    smiley spitting out its chewing tobacco
  :-1    smiley bland face
  :-!            "
  :-$    smiley face with it's mouth wired shut
  :-6    smiley after eating something sour
  8-)    smiley swimmer
  :-*    smiley after eating something bitter
  :-&    smiley which is tongue-tied
  :-0    smiley orator
  (:-(   unsmiley frowning
  =:-)   smiley punk-rocker
  =:-(   (real punk rockers don't smile)
  +-:-)  smiley priest
  :-o    smiley singing national anthem
  :-p    smiley sticking its tongue out (at you!)
  :-[    un-smiley blockhead
  :-]    smiley blockhead
  :-{    smiley variation on a theme
  :-}    ditto
  {:-)   smiley with its hair parted in the middle
  }:-)   above in an updraft
  g-)    smiley with pince-nez glasses
  :-\    undecided smiley
  :-/    lefty undecided smiley
  :-|    "have an ordinary day" smiley
  ;-)    winking smiley
  :-<    real sad smiley
  :-x    "my lips are sealed" smiley
  :-c    bummed out smiley
  :-v    talking head smiley
  :-?    smilely smoking a pipe
  0-)    smiley cyclops (scuba diver?)
  :<     midget unsmiley
  :>     midget smiley
 :-)     ha ha
 |-)     hee hee
 |-D     ho ho
 :->     hey hey
 :-(     boo hoo
 :-I     hmm
 :-O     uh oh
 :-P     nyah nyah
 |-P     yuk
 ~~:-(   net flame
 X-(     net suicide
 >:-I    net startrek
 3:o[    net pets
 Male    :-
 Female  >-
 Infinity        8
 %\v     Picasso
 :)      smiley
 >:)     a little devil
 %-|     been working all night
 ::-)    wears glasses
 }:-(    bull headed
 :-{)    has a mustache
 :-#     braces
 :-&     tounge-tied
 :-D     big smile
 C|:-=   Charlie Chaplin
 =|:-)=  Abe Lincoln
 :-W     speak with forked tongue
 :-@     "I swear"
 :-X     my lips are sealed
 :-C     really bummed out
 C=:-)   chef
 *<:-)   Santa Claus
 :-O     Mr  Bill
 *:o)    Bozo
 :*)     Ed McMahon
 [:-)    wearing a walkman
 :-))    double chin
 :-7     smokes a pipe
 C:#     football player
 :-)8    man with bowtie
 :-()    I stubbed my toe
 :-( )   You stepped on my toe
 :-(  )  You backed your car over my toe
:-{)         User has a moustache
'-)          User is winking at you
;-)          Wink...or bad plastic surgery?
:-{          User is a vampire
:-E          User is a bucktoothed vampire
|-{          Charlie Brownicon ("Good Grief!")
:-}          Love or just good scotch?
8-O          User is shocked
:-,          User is perplexed
:-f          User is  both bucktoothed and perplexed
<:-0         Eeek!
:-1          User smirks
:-Q          User is a smoker
:-?          User smokes a pipe
:-"          User has pursed lips
:-9          User is licking his/her lips
C=:-)        User is a chef
{_}0         Coffee calls….
:-r          Bleaggh…need to brew a fresh pot
:~)          User has broken nose
|~(          User has broken nose and is still in pain
:-v          User is speaking out of the side of their mouth
:-V          User is shouting at person using the next terminal
B-D          User plays in rock band
B-D}}}       User plays with ZZ Top
\:)          User is Ronald Reagan...or Nancy giving dictation
7:)          User is a Ronald Reagan imitator
:-w          User speaks with forked tongue
:-W          User speaks with forked tongue and insists you listen
:<)          User is from an Ivy League School
<I==I)       User is talking on their car phone
>y==X)       User talking on car phone just drove into a tree
8^{}         User is prying jaws open with vise to display amazement
+-:-)        User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
`:-)         User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
O:-)         User is an angel (at heart, at least)
:-S          User just made an incoherent statement
*<:-)        User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat
:-o          Uh oh...
(8-o         ...it's Mr. Bill!
*:o)         User is a bozo
3:]          Pet smiley
3:[          Mean pet smiley
d8=          Beaver wearing goggles and a hard hat
E-:-)        User is a HAM radio operator
%-6          User is braindead
[:-)         User is wearing a portable stereo
(:I          User is an egghead
8-]          User is stoned
*L*          User is totalled
:-(*)        User on verge of vomiting at the excess of smileys
<:-I         User is a dunce
+<.'v        User is a knight who is busy with something away from the terminal
K:P          User wears a propeller beanie
:-)'         User drools
@:-)         User wears a turban
             User wishes to remain anonymous
X-(          User just died
X==[         User just died with their boots on
X-)          User just died happy
]X###[       User just died in bed
]X==+=[      User (m or f) just died very happy
C=}>;*{O)    Classic overkill smiley: user is a drunk, sly chef with moustache, toupee and double chin in and is caught in an updraft
:-x          User sucks lemons
:->          User is just some happy square
:-C          Stock drops...so does the jaw
:-<          User is forlorn
[:]          User is a robot
>>-O->       User had a bad day at the Little Bighorn
:V           User is a woodpecker
8:-)         User is a little girl
:-)-8        User is a big girl
|)           User is a salamander
@|@          User has been surfing too long
*-<:-{{{     User is Santa
}:-}{{W--    User is Satan…or dyslexic and attempting to be Santa
=|:-)=       User is Abe Lincoln or a really cheap imitation Santa
o-<:-{{{     User is a cheap imitation Santa
{:-)         User wears a toupee
}:-(         Toupee in an updraft
*|           User loves a sunset
:-,          Smirk
:-\ 8o       User after cold shower
:-\          User is Popeye
:-?          User licks their lips
:^T          User's lips are zipped
:^P          User is sticking tongue out at you
>:^(         User is an Amazonian headhunter
7:)          User is a Ronald Reagan imitator
>w           User is thumbing their nose at you
(-_-)        User gives you a secret smile
|-<>         Kissy-face
@-)          User is a happy cyclops
@-()         User is a hungry cyclops
C-|          User is a cyclops with a squint
Q-)          Cyclops winking
<:>==        User is a turkey
MSN          User is trying not to be, but is still a turkey
:= |         User is a baboon
8=[}         User is a lemur
%-<I>        User is happy drunk
*-}          User is beyond drunk
%            User has had a cycling accident
:-O>-o       User is an American tourist (oh joy)
:'O          User is pretending to be Bob Hope
:Q)          User is John Q. Public
>-)          User is a sly one
>-(          Not a happy camper
(-::-(       User is two-faced
:<=          User is a walrus
:~|          User is punchy
-:-)         User has a mohawk cut
{:\/         User is talking like a duck
:-$          User insists you put your money where your mouth is
:-:          User is French (jou notice ze accent?)
:-&          Tongue-tied
::-)         User is four-eyed
i-)          User is a private investigator
.-)          User is keeping an eye out
.-)          "I told you you'd put your eye out with that!"
&-)          User needs opera glasses to see terminal screen
=:-)         User is a hosehead
8-)          The Madman Strikes Again
#-)          User is auditioning for part of Lieutenant Geordie LaForge
:-|          User says: "Have a day"
*:*          User is a little fuzzy
%-{          User has been at the terminal too long
%~v          User needs medical attention
#:-)         User is Cosmo Frasier
^):          User has perceptual difficulties or is a post-nuclear baby
O|-l         User has been hit by falling rock
:-(=)        User has big teeth
(:)-)        User is a scuba diver
~=           User lights a candle...the flame is on
~======      Better call the bomb squad
-=           User douses a candle...this flame is over
P-)          User is a pirate
~~\8-O       User needs to fix frayed cord on monitor
~~:-(        User is a hothead
|:-|         User needs to loosen up
d :-o        User doffs their hat to you
:8)          User is a pig
8+()         User is either Tina Turner or a British Lord
*~8-}        User has a lit fuse coming out of their head
B-{=         User is either a vampire, a beaver or just some dork
@-}          User is a cyborg on a good day
:(\          User smokes...
  !               and hates it
B(\          User smokes...
  !            and thinks it makes them look cool
:-6          User finds your remark sour
:-{}         User wears heavy lipstick
:^(          User's nose is out of joint
:-[ ]        User breaks out the Jaws of Death
8-*          User just ate a hot pepper
R-)          User has broken glasses
S-)          User has crooked glasses
<{:-)[       User has been stuffed into a rocket
=[{:-(]      User has been stuffed into a bottle
=[{:-)]      User has been stuffed into a Scotch bottle
 )           Cheshire smiley
>-o ^^^^:    User zipped fly too fast
p-)          User wears a monocle
[:]          User is being crushed by heavy machinery
(-E:         User wears bifocals
L-)          User has a funky hairdo
T-)          User wears weird glasses
H-)          User is cross-eyed
(:-)         User never computes without protective headgear
oo           User's headlights are on
O>-<|=       Women only please...
o>8<|=       Interesting women only please...
o[#|==       Men only please...
o[#+==       Oh, puh-lease...
}:-(         User is bull-headed
;-)          Winkie
o{=8~~       User farts in your general direction
(:>-<        User thought you were a cop
|-(          User is having another late night at the terminal
:-{#}        User wears braces
@=           User digs nuclear explosions
(:-#         User wishes they hadn't said that
:-`          User chews tobacco
:-) )-:      User has a theatrical bent
d:-)         User is a trucker (or a baseball fan
q:-)         User is a rapper, a catcher, or doesn't know how to put on a ball cap
(:-$         User had bad pizza for dinner
(:+)         User wants you to know they have an enormous...nose
(:=)         User has two noses
(\/)         User has extremely large ears
**           User enjoys winter sports
(:<)         User is a blabbermouth
=)           User is psychotically happy
||*)         Handshake accepted
&-|          User is very sad
:-) -8       User is sexually aroused (m)
!-(  %       User attempted to display arousal to wrong person
:-(O)        User is in your face
=|:-)        User wears a top hat
&:-)         User has curly hair
@:-)         User has wavy hair
*:**         User is a bit blurry
:-8(         User is looking down on you
...---...    Emergency
#$%^@#       Encrypted emoticon;
(:-|K-       Formal chat requested
l=           Chat requested regarding housing in Arizona
B-)          User is Batman
->-          User sells airline tickets
>;->         User is giving you the evil eye
<|-(         User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes
=0== -       User is Mexican or a stylish woman on a railroad track
=t== -       User is Mexican or a stylish woman who has been run over by train
M:-)         User salutes you
<:-)<<|      User is an astronaut
(:-...       User's heart is broken
~M`'~        User is a very intelligent camel
:-)!!!       User is Sam Kinison
>|->         User is an elder Chinese national…approach with respect
:-(%)        User has tonsillitis or a fly in their throat
<<<<(:-)     User sells hats
{O--<        User is a dead fish...or thinks you are
@>--->----   User offers you a rose
(:-{~        User has moustache and drools
{}           User makes no comment
O-S-<        User is in a hurry
O-Z-<        User is awkward and in a hurry
O-&-<        User is getting impatient 
-|==>-       User is a user
XXXXXXXXXXX  User has copy-protected their emoticon
==:[OO']>:== User feels like they're being railroaded
8)           User is a frog
pp#          User is a cow that wants you to think they are a frog
O-G-<        User thinks they should come first
%\v          User is a Picasso fan
[]           User gives you a hug
||           Chat requested regarding four-wheel drive vehicles
@O=E<=       User wears a skirt and a turtleneck sweater
6\/)         User is an elephant
__Q~`__      User is a cat
-(           User ought to know enough to wear safety glasses around lasers
:-'|         User has a cold
;^?          User got their lights punched out
C:#          User is a football player
((-)         User needs a haircut
:-a          User can lick their own nose (see "dork")
%*@:-(       User is hung over
-=#:-)       User is a wizard
!-|          User is a Cylon
i-=<*****    User has flamethrower
i-=<*****X-( User has flamethrower and uses it
:-"          User smokes two cigarettes at once
Q:-)         User is a recent graduate
($^}>==[     User has successfully sued us for copyright violation regarding unlicensed use of a smiley

Now here are some abbreviations you may often see:
<G> = big grin
<g> = grin
<VBG> = very big grin
AFAIK	As Far As I know
AFJ	April Fool's Joke
AFK	Away From the Keyboard
ATYS	Anything You Say
BBFN	Bye Bye For Now
BBIAB	Be Back In A Bit
BBL	Be Back Later
BCNU	Be Seein' You
BFD	Big F****** Deal
BFI	Brute Force and Ignorance
BFN     =  Bye, for now
BG	BackGround
BRB     Be right back (often used on MUDS and talk sessions)
BST = but seriously though
BTDTBTTS = been there, done that, bought the T-Shirt (also BTDTGTTS)
BTSOOM	Beats the shit out of me
BTW	By The Way
CI$	Compuserve Information $ervice
CIS     =  Consumer Information Service (of CompuServe)
CU	See You
CUL,CYL	See You Later
DIIK	Damned If I Know
F2F	Face-To-Face
FDROTFL	Falling Down Rolling On The Floor Laughing
FIIK	(see DIIK)
FITB	Fill In The Blanks
FOAD	F*** Off And Die
FOAF	Friend Of A Friend
FOD	Finger Of Death
FOTCL	Falling Off The Chair Laughing
FROPPED	F***ing dROPPED (as in "dropped carrier" or kicked off the phone line or network)
FUBAR	Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition
FWIW	For What It's Worth
FWIW    For what it's worth
FYA	For Your Amusement
FYATHYRIO	F*** You And The Horse You Rode In On
FYBITS	F*** You, Buddy, I'm The Sysop
FYI	For Your Information
G	Grin (usally typed <g>)
 g,d&r   =  grinning, ducking, and running
GA	Go Ahead
GD&R	Grinning, Ducking & Running (usually left at the end of a digging message)
GIGO	Garbage In, Garbage Out
GIWIST	Gee I Wish I'd Said That
GR&D    Grinning running & ducking
GROK	As in "I GROK", means thorough understanding. From R.A. Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land"
HAND = have a nice day
HHOJ	Ha Ha Only Joking
HHOK	Ha Ha Only Kidding
HHOS	Ha Ha Only Serious
HLAYK	Here's Looking At You Kid (a parting)
HTH = hope this helps
IAE	In any event
IANAL	I Am Not A Lawyer, also IANA... such as CPA
IANAL   I Am Not A Lawyer, also IANA... such as CPA
ICOCBW	I Could Of Course Be Wrong
IMCO	In my considered opinion
IMHO    In my humble opinion
IMHO = in my humble opinion     (AMHA = a mon humble avis)
IMNSHO	In My Not So Humble Opinion
IMO	In my opinion
IOW	In Other Words
IOW     In other words
IWBNI	It Would Be Nice If
JAM	Just A Minute
JSNM	Just Stark Naked Magic
KISS	Keep It Simple, Stupid
L8R	LATeR
LAB&TYD	Life's A Bitch & Then You Die.
LOL	Laughing/ laughed Out Loud
LTLYB	Love To Love You Baby
MEGO		My Eyes Glaze Over
MORF	Male OR Female
MUD	Multi user domain (or dungeon)
MYOB	Mind Your Own Business
NBD	No Big Deal
NFW	No fucking way
NFW     No f***ing way
NHOH	Never Heard Of Him/Her
NP	No Problem
NRN	No Reply Necessary
NTYMI	Now That You Mention It
O	Over (to you)
OB, OBJ	OBligatory Joke
OIC	Oh, I See
 OIC     =  Oh, I see!
OO	Over and Out
 OOTB    =  Out of the box
OTOH	On The Other Hand
OTT	Over The Top
OTTH    =  On the third hand
PFM	Pure F***ing Magic
PITA	Pain In The Ass
PM	Preventive Maintenance
PMJI	Pardon My Jumping In
POM	Phase Of the Moon
POV	Point Of View; also Persistence of Vision a popular freeware raytracing graphics package.
PPN     =  Programmer Project Number. Ie, a CIS user's ID#.
RAD	Raw, Unadulterated Dumbness
RE	Re-hello (hello again) or re-hi
RL	Real Life
ROFL	Rolling on floor laughing.
ROTFL	Rolling On The Floor Laughing
ROTFLMAO	Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off
ROTM	Right On The Money
RSN	Real Soon Now [which may be a long time coming]
RTFM    =  Read the, uh, Friggin' Manual(or message)
SIG	Special Interest Group
SITD	Still in the dark
SNAFU	Situation Normal, All Fucked Up
SO	Significant Other
SOL	Shit out of luck
SUP	What's Up?
SWEIN	So What Else Is New?
TAFN	That's All For Now
TANJ	There Ain't No Justice
TANSTAAFL	There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch; from Robert Heinlein's  "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress"
TFE     Too fucking easy
TIA	Thanks In Advance (also aTdHvAaNnKcSe or AtDhVaAnNkCsE or advTHANKSance)
TIC	Tongue in cheek
TLA     Three Letter Acronym (such as this)chore [Kme(R)]
TNX 1.0E6	ThaNKS a million (also TNX1M)
TPTB	The Powers That Be
 TSR     =  Terminate and Stay Resident program
TTBOMK	To The Best Of My Knowledge
TTFN	Ta-Ta For Now
TTUL, TTYL	Talk To You Later
TTYS	Talk To You Soon
UOK?	Are You OK?
WRT	With Respect To
WTF	What The F***
WTH	What The hell
WYSIWYG =  What you see is what you get
YA	Yet Another
YAFIYGI	You Asked For It, You Got It